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Joke Home > Pickup Lines > Submitted Pickup Lines

Your Pickup Lines

These are the lines submitted by viewers to this website like you.  If you would like to add your own, click Here.


Add Your Pickup Line | Back to Pickup Line List
From yppvuaficq yppvuaficq on 1/25/2012

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From cera atchison on 1/24/2012

i bet i can run faster horny than you can scred.
 
From Pharme441 Pharme441 on 1/17/2012

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From Pharme966 Pharme966 on 1/17/2012

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From Jaime Garcia on 12/17/2011

(Guy)Is your dad a Baker... (girl) why??? (Guy) because those are some nice buns...
 
From bvopdw bvopdw on 11/30/2011

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From Anthony Gaxiola on 11/21/2011

Hi my boyfriend and I are having a bet (male friend across the room waves like a girl) he say's I can't get a hot girl to turn me straight? HMM?
 
From Payton Brown on 11/17/2011

I'm blind? Can I read your shirt in braile?
 

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From Fred Schmirlas on 10/16/2011

Two Irishmen escape a sinking freighter - should survivors in a line rowboat thousands of miles at sea. O'Rourke says to Kelly, "We're fucked" "Aye, we're fucked" says Kelly. "Say, Kelly, paddle over to the wreckage, there might be something floating that we can use". So Kelly paddes over to the burning flotsam and spies a lamp. "Grab the lamp Kelly - there might be a leprechaun in there that will save our sorry asses!" Kelly grabs the lamp and as soon as it leaves the water, sure enough, a leprechaun pops out! "You have three wishes, lad, make them good" says the leprechaun. "I'm cold...give me a jug of Irish Whiskey" and poof, there at his feet, a gallon of whiskey. O'Rourque says "What in hell are you thinking Kelly, have you forgotten something?" Kelly says, "I'm sorry...one for my friend too" and poof, a second jug of whiskey! O'Rourque says "Are ye daft? Look around you, think about where we are!". Kelly smiles and says, "Turn the ocean into Guinness" whereupon the ocean turns into dark black stout and the leprechaun disappears. O'Rourque is beside himself,mcrying, "Do you know what you've done? Do you know what you have done?!?" "Aye," says Kelly..."that was stupid of me...now we have to piss in the boat!"
 
From Chasen Miko on 9/5/2011

Those clothes look really good on you. [Girl: thank you] But they would look even better on my bedroom floor.
 

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From Laura Routh on 8/31/2011

I noticed you noticing me and I wanted to put you on notice, that I noticed you too.
 
From J.A. Anonymous on 8/23/2011

"Girl, if you were time....I could NEVER be late, cuz I would ALWAYS want to be on you."
 
From knfwpkwbc knfwpkwbc on 8/18/2011

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From John Pampers on 8/11/2011

Want to go halves on a baby?
 
From Lauren Fagerburg on 7/29/2011

I need a band-aid, because i scraped my knee falling for you.
 

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From jb Gatarin on 7/3/2011

hey,are you a pokemon because i choose you!

 
From gerry politunger on 7/1/2011

me+u+bed-clotes divide legs and pray 2 god we dont multiply
 
From gerry politunger on 7/1/2011

are u an electrician cuz u know how to turn me on
 
From bxdj jcbjxv on 6/30/2011

my dick needs help getting in ur mouth...

 
From xapqxqy xapqxqy on 5/19/2011

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From stephanie thompson on 4/14/2011

Excue me, ive lost my teddy bear, can i snuggle with you tonight?
 
From jeremy shumaker on 4/9/2011

If i give you 11 roses to hold up in a mirror id be able to see the 12 most beautiful things in the world.
 
From jeremy shumaker on 4/9/2011

If beauty were time, you'd be eternity
 

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From bob shitter on 3/19/2011

100. Fuck me bitch
 

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From keithon grant Grant on 2/19/2011

girl ure so pretty i wanna plant you and grow a whole field of you guys
 
From Bill Anderson on 2/18/2011

Im like a shower, you turn me on and i make you wet.
 
From Jeff Weber on 2/13/2011

Hey Babe wanna play house you'll be the door and i'll slam ya
 

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From Darby mcmanus on 11/16/2010

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz i can see me in your pants.
 
From Harry Balls on 11/1/2010

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in!
 
From kris doull on 9/26/2010

nice legs,love. what time do they open !
 
From Carlo chan on 9/25/2010

Are You Ok ? Cause Heaven is far from here :)
 
From nicki nicki on 9/22/2010

go towards a hot babe and say : nice legs1 at what time do they open?
 
From kyle brown on 9/20/2010

Is Your Father A Farmer? Cuase You Sure Do Know How To Raise A Cock!
 
From james kopecki on 9/1/2010

Blow me.
 
From Jean Michaels on 8/28/2010

Would you like to go to breakfast or be breafast?
 
From john smith on 7/22/2010

Nice smile, I haven't cum across teeth like those in a long time.
 
From antwan smith on 7/10/2010

hey girl if i was a napkin would you blow me
 
From Kayce Brown on 7/9/2010

boy/girl are you a libraby book because im checkin you out?
 
From gtrqtoqitlb gtrqtoqitlb on 7/6/2010

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From Adam Jacobson on 7/6/2010

Heyy. Do you like Shakespeare? Because I gotta spear you can shake! --->
 
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